MY NEW CAR

Alot of my blogs have been used to vent because I hate complaining to people so I have used this as a positive source to let out my frustrations.. however this Blog will not continue down that path....


I GOT A NEW CAR!!!!!!! Itts my first ever real NEW CAR which i had to fnance and everything. It has no problems a warranty and its all mine!!!!! I got a 2009 Honda Civic which is black and BEAUTIFUL. No more 7 miles per gallon or filling it with oil every other day. i am ECSTATIC!!!!! Nathan is also getting a new car today and we are both on the road to a stable wonderful problem free life :)...... a girl can dream anyway lol.

Reference Paper

I had a great starting on my reference paper, all my sources were found Early, I had my entire paper written for my conference which also went well and even my critiques were coming along. Monday night I went to my office to print out my paper and do a few last minute corrections as well as print my critiques and the worst happened. my computer which has ALWAYS worked for me.. sure its slow sometimes, but always works would not start. It literally went to a blue screen something ive never seen before and i couldn't believe it. I waited for what seemed like hours well two to be exact trying to get it to work and finally i gave up, went home put the little one into a bath, fed her and put her to bed so I could use my rough draft and re type the entire paper and try to remember all corrections i had previously made. I also had 7 critiques and a works cited to re create from scratch so needless to say I was up until 3am and writing through tears partially from sleep deprivation and part from frustration. I was able to finish typing everything and decided to make my corrections further at school today. It all worked out but man was that stressul. I cant ever seem to understand why technology just doesnt work in the most crucial times. I still have no idea what was wrong with my computer but if I go in tomorow and it works perfectly I will absolutely flip out..

the other side of the hill

Thanksgiving break was great... just what i needed. I got to see my family alot both my in home and out. Weve decided to have Nathan and Natalie stay at my house and i think it is the best option. We got to spend alot of time together and our relationship has really gotten better. We just have to manage our stress and work together through problems and make time for eachother and i think well be fine. Our next goal is getting two new cars and getting rid of all debt while saving up.. should be interesting but Im making a plan and hopefully it works.. in a cheerful mood which is good :)

Cannot wait until Thanksgiving. Its one of my favorite Holidays.. I just love food. period. Finally finished my englis, art, and history paper, conquered one major test and have one more on tuesday.... im ALMOST DONE. the end of the semester is approaching quickly, just need to get my act together for all my end of the semester finals and projects. Does anyone else feel like theyre just living life in a circle?

We are finally out of katrinas house... stressful way to get out but it was for the best. I was being used and taken advantage of. I have given up so much and i feel so un appreciated. My life is all over the place and i just want some stability and happiness... cant wait for next semester and a new start.

AHHHHHH!!!!!

Since my last blog my life has been a crazy whirlwind of stress. As of this weekend I am now living with katrina and her family to be there full time and take care of them. She is out of the hospital but still very sick and now both of her young boys have been diagnosed with celiac disease. My boyfriend and his daughter are also there with us and I think this whole thing has seriously damaged our relationship. He wants to spend more time with me but im always busy with work, school, dinner, baths, homework, laundry etc and he doesnt sem to understand our position right now is temporary and weve been fighting alot. i dont feel close to him anymore and I hate it because I really do love him but i find myself getting irriated with every thing he does and says. We havent been out of the house in 3 weeks whcih is also crazy and i havent had a minute of quietness to myself since i dont remember and i miss my own bed and family.. and closet and shower... and my car which nathan has taken full possession of. I paid my car off finally and was going to trade it in but i gave it to him to drive temporaily while i pay katrinas 400 dollar car payment for a hummer that sucks up gas and is a fortune to drive. Im not mad im helping everyone they all need it but i guess im just going a litttle crazy and im not sure what to do. I feel like a bad friend, girlfriend, sister, daughter etc because i havent seen anyone and havent had time to text or return calls and i think im slipping in school need a little strength and hope to get through it all but im runnin on empty

This week a dear friend of the family and a lady i babysit for was rushed to the hospital on Thursday. She recently found she is allergic to wheat and gluten and thursday her body shut down and went in to seizure mode. I have been staying with her 3 boys who are 5, 8, and 15 and its becoming a real wake up call into the world of mom. Shes having a very hard time and so are her boys, they have a very close relationship and its been very diffucult to keep them calm. Theyve been up most nights crying and it seems the more i let them talk to her the more upset they get. I have lots of papers due, homework, 2 jobs and making sure i stay in contact with their school as well as katrina. Been pretty hard and i think she will be there over the weekend. My boyfriend has been a big help and stayed there with me, i couldnt do it without him. Of course with him comes his 3 year old daughter but whats one more right.. lol been chaos but im trying to manage..

CRAZY PSYCHO!

This past week has been EXTREMELY STRESSFUL. My boyfriend has lived with a tyrant mother who believes she is not only god but a mother instead of a grandmother. She wants Nathan to be completely dependent on her and not fend for himself therefore never leave her. I have been nothing but nice to this woman, tlked for hours, done favors for her, smiled when i knew she was wrong etc. But she feels threatened by me because i am very independent, I take care of myself, pay for all my own things, work two jobs, go to school and have goals and plans to reach them. Since Nathan has been dating me he has gotten two new jobs one being a networking job with IBM and Dell and is going back to school to get his degree. His mom has gotten worse and wrse and has created a VERY UNSTABLE environment for her three year old grandaughter who is kept up all night listening to her Grandma SCREAMING and yelling obsence horrible things into the late hours of the night. Finally nathan decided to get out and realized they took the fuse from his car. I had to go pick him up on saunday and he is now living with me along with his daughter in my bedroom. Things are quite crowded and I seem very stressed but I am glad he got out and can be on a better path to saving his little girl.

This was the first weekend we didnt have my boyfriend daughter. He dropped her off at her mothers house thursday night and she didnt come back until Sunday. It was very strange without her. So quiet and wierd without the responsibility of keeping eye on a 2.. now 3 year old. We finally got some us time and went to see a movie friday night. Funny thing is we went in to see Love Happens andd when we walked out we ended up walking right into Couples Retreat lol double movie and a great time....such a late night tho. On Saturday I helped a former teaher paint a room in her new house and then spent some much needed time with my family for my grandmas 75th birthday. On sunday i helped Nathan write his resume for an IT job with Dell which he got today and spent the rest of the day relaxing. It was a much needed weekend and i enjoyed every minute of it.

Today on the way to school i was behind a van which had a very unusual eye catching bumper sticker which stated...

"My child got your honor student pregnant"

Now at first this may seem funny and I admit I laughed and found it quite humorous. But then i thought.. there's no wonder why our society is the way it is. Is it acceptable to poke fun at situations that really aren't to funny, maybe your just making light o the situation but really we are playing down a what has become a very common situation, but then wonder why so many families are poor due to droping out of school to have a child, or why so many children need counseling when mom and dad split up because they simply got together for the childs sake. I guess i may be bias considering i deal with this on a daily basis at the law firm but after laughing i looked at a bigger picture and became alittle frustrated... any thoughts?

Start my job tomorrow at hollywood tan. Im pretty excited but alittle nervous too. Im getting alittle frustrated with life and being a teenager. Im ready to move out, get my own place and be completely self sufficient. I dont mind my family but im sick of taking care of the house and my brothers each week and getting no help. Id love to fast forward 5 years to where I might be married have kids or even just my own house. I am only 600 dollars from paying off my car and soon ill be able to save up like I use to before I bought my car. With two jobs life might be hectic but im ready to start my future :)

Thinking outside your comfort zone

I am not a believer in our nations two party political system. I consider myself to be an independent and value the opinions of each American. Not because of what party they're in but because they are entitled to their own beliefs. This however is a right not a privilege and it drives me crazy when people voice their opinions but have NO idea what they are talking about. Both the republicans and the democrats of our country pride themselves not really on being one or the other but instead claiming they are not the other. They feel their views MUST be opposite of the other party and therefore create unnecessary arguments among each other and rally up other Americans to do the same. If America really wants reform the two parties really need to learn to respect eachother and listen to everybodys opinions. They need to work together and stop being so stubburn as to thinking one is better than the other and accept that somewhere there is middle ground to be covered. Not accepting ones opinions just because they are in a different belief system than you is ridiculous. We can compare our most radical politicialns to those radicals in race groups or even religions. America needs to wake up and realize if we dont work together we will surely die alone...

Soo this week has been quite hectic. My ex stepdad who my sister has lived with for years, kicked her out last week because of his new girlfriend so she is moving in with me. Been up late nights packing all her stuff and making numerous trips back and fourth between houses. Then i tried to surprise her andget a head start on unpacking when i sliced my hand open on a piece of glass from her vanity... awesome. Its slowly getting there but will take a lot of time. She also chopped 6 inches of my hair off this week and dyed it brunette for the fall.. I was sooo upset the first day but im gradually getting use to it even though i cant stop touching it. I decided to apply for a job at hollywood tan this week. If that happens I will be working full time at the law firm going to school 16 hours a week and working like 3 or 4 nights a week at the salon so this should make for an interesting semester... wish me luck

Bad Luck or Bad Karma?

I had a very interesting discussion with my sister yesterday regarding my teribble run of life in the past few years. I have been cheated on, betrayed, wrecked a car, lost funds for school, and put way to much money into a car that just doesnt deserve my time. I asked her if she thinks its bad luck or bad karma because Karma is something I hold in a very high regard. I believe people get whats coming to them and the people who have screwed me over or done bad things in life will be punished in thier own way. In high school girls wanted to start useless pity fights or say things about me that werent true, all for the sake of saving themselves. When this happened however i turned the other cheeck and said nothing back. I knew in time they would get exactly what they deserved and it would be waaaay better than anything i could ever say. One day I truly believed i could inflict karma on others lol My boyfriend was being a jerk and then as he went to get up he fell to the ground and landed on his knee. After being nice and taking care of him i simply smiled and said.. see what happens when ur a jerk... Since then many small things like that have happened to him so its our ongoing joke but many big things have happened to others that I have simply sat back and enjoyed thinking to myself... thank god i was patient because now karma is on my side. We came to the conclusion that some people have bad karma and others just bad luck. Its what u chhose to do with ur unhappy experiences however that make you who you are. so remember when life gets rough and you feel like the whole world is agaisnt you, be patient and take it in, you wont be given anything you arent capable of handling but sometimes you have to let the handling to the universe becacause the rewards are so much greater when you do.

Intelligent people can always come up with intelligent reasons to do nothing.

In the beginning of chapter fourteen, there is a profound quote by Scott Simon. To tell you the truth, I dont believe it has much to do with blogging but I do believe it has a powerful message inscribed within it.

Intelligent people can always come up with intelligent reasons to do nothing.

In our society, and even those dating back to ancient times the people who are named "intellegent" are "doers," theyre thinkers and people who make things happen. This quote however is saying just the opposite, it implies that the intelligent person can do nothing..

There is definately something to be said about our typical "BS'ers " -people who can get out of ANYTHING, or give reasons why other people shoud do nothing. They can be found everywhere, in schools, in work, at home, in the park, its fantastic. Bsing i believe is really a science. You cant be some average idiot to say something like, " i didnt do my homework because im studing psychological effects teachers can have on students who do poorly in school. You have to be smart to come up with things on the spot and then go with it to reason why its true. Many politicans are great Bsers, they get asked questions and on the fly they have great long answers that sound like they have been up all night for weeks thinking of just the issue. Kids in speech class who have NO idea what theyre talking about until 5 mintes before class. They get their speech from the energy they create in the very first sentence and can snowball it for 30 minutes. Honestly the "intelleigent" people in our society are envious of the bser because while they may have book smarts, they might not be a quick thinker and a smooth talker, which is a true gift, its not something people can easily pick up.

Yes, these people have bsed there way thru school, college, work, political systems and now... they are crucial leaders in our society. So before you say education is everything, you may want to rethink that statement and start belieing.. bsing is so much more









.

People for the sake of living forget to live

This weekend I got to take a relaxing break from my busy and hectic work week to enjoy life as it should be. On Saturday, my boyfriend and I took his two year old daughter to Longacre park in Fairview Heights. We packed a lunch and set down a blanket next to the calm blue lake to create the perfect picnic. As i sat eating my lunch, I realized just how much life I miss out on by being so busy and stressed all the time. We fed the geese loaves of bread and I stepped back to watch this two year old full of life and excitement as she experienced feeding wildlife for the first time. She was laughing and smiling and enjoying each moment of the day. I then went back to the blanket on top of the hill and watched as she ran around feeling the breeze in my hair under a perfect cloudless sky. Later we turned red from playing on the playground for hours under the hot sun, all worth it of course. As i look back its days like those which make life worth living. So what if you have work, homework, or simple life obstacles in the way, I think everyone needs to take a day and truly relax to enjoy what they have instead of acting like they have no time for it because in the end, youll regret not taking the time to stop and smell the roses.